OK, I don’t hate FB, I just find it a poor substitute for the way I want to communicate in the virtual world. What started out as a fun diversion, a way to keep in touch with the people I had lost from Y!360, and finding people from my past, has turned into a monster. As time goes by, my presence is becoming more diminished and I am receding into the invisible walls and dark recesses of a place that shines a light too brightly for my taste. The addition of coworkers and being an administrator for a Cause (at work) has turned my private life public. That is why this will not appear on FB Networked Blogs. I need my little corner of the virtual world where I can say whatever I like without having unwanted eyes on my world.
I hate to dwell on the past, but Y!360 had it all. It was centered around the blog. I found that to be the perfect way for me to connect with people. You could assess someone’s writing skills (i.e. intelligence), their interests (interesting vs. nut job), integrity (genuine vs. sleaze ball), and potential as a friend (or stalker, psychopath, sociopath, etc). It was not perfect; some of the loonies got through, but there was always the remove button and when necessary, the block option. You could also send private messages and IM (something I have burned out on and have no patience for). Facebook has these as well, but unless you already know the person, there is little substance from which to make any assessment. I can think of only one “new” person on FB who I have engaged in meaningful discourse and he was on Y!360 – we just did not connect in time before it shut down.
I know that I will continue to use Facebook, but I will keep it light and behave… damn, I hate to behave! But since it has become as much of a social marketing tool as LinkedIn and the like, I have to keep it semi-professional – the “semi” being as much of a concession as I am willing to make. I suppose that I could create another profile, but I really don’t feel like managing two pages.
So, for now, I will post this blog (and other like it) here. If nobody sees it, so be it. I want to write without having my hands tied. I wrote before Y!360 and I will continue to write. It was nice having that audience and getting the feedback, but that option is gone – until something better comes along.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Human Nature
I am not a psychologist, anthropologist, or any other “ologist” whose opinion is anything other than that – an opinion. But I think I know a thing or two of human nature. I see patterns. The reason for any success I have attained during my life has come from my ability to observe, process, evaluate, and see the patterns that emerge. My ability to play several musical instruments without any training is simply hearing and reproducing the patterns of sound and transferring what I know from one instrument to another. My work in finance is recognizing that numbers are inherently neutral and only have the meaning we give them. Recognizing the patterns provides the ability to forecast and make corrections when the patterns change. My time spent in Hospitality (my only field of endeavor that deserves capitalization) was a great lesson in the patterns of human nature. Life changes and relationships have added additional information – sometimes pleasant, sometimes not.
I always start with the assumption that people have good intentions. For the most part, I still believe that is true. Unfortunately, where that is not true can been tragic, other than the valuable lessons learned. Others, I believe, start out with good intentions and then things go horribly wrong. The saddest and most damaging part of this is the effect it has on those who are within the blast zone… when one of these individuals has a flip of the internal switch that sends all civility awry, stand clear. They cannot be reconciled and they are never (in their own minds) wrong. Working from a starting point of compassion is still my modus operandi. Sadly, this pattern seems to be repeating in my life and the difficulty is to avoid it from coloring my perception to a dark shade of cynical. So far, I am succeeding, but why is it that this darkness can too easily overshadow all of the good?
This week, I have seen the best and worst in human nature – from the dark and threatening to the light and comforting. My challenge is to process all of this without dwelling on the intensity of the negative. It is far too easy to close yourself off and react to all people from your negative experiences. I choose not to do that. In spite of everything, the good far outweighs the less than good. If Anne Frank could say “It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart,” who am I to do otherwise?
And so ends another work week.
I always start with the assumption that people have good intentions. For the most part, I still believe that is true. Unfortunately, where that is not true can been tragic, other than the valuable lessons learned. Others, I believe, start out with good intentions and then things go horribly wrong. The saddest and most damaging part of this is the effect it has on those who are within the blast zone… when one of these individuals has a flip of the internal switch that sends all civility awry, stand clear. They cannot be reconciled and they are never (in their own minds) wrong. Working from a starting point of compassion is still my modus operandi. Sadly, this pattern seems to be repeating in my life and the difficulty is to avoid it from coloring my perception to a dark shade of cynical. So far, I am succeeding, but why is it that this darkness can too easily overshadow all of the good?
This week, I have seen the best and worst in human nature – from the dark and threatening to the light and comforting. My challenge is to process all of this without dwelling on the intensity of the negative. It is far too easy to close yourself off and react to all people from your negative experiences. I choose not to do that. In spite of everything, the good far outweighs the less than good. If Anne Frank could say “It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart,” who am I to do otherwise?
And so ends another work week.
Friday, September 4, 2009
From Catzilla to Kitten in Three Easy Steps
We had our first OMG moment when we entered the house. The woman had three kittens for adoption and did it raise a red flag when I spoke to her on the phone and she called herself the “Crazy Cat Lady?” No. Was it confirmed when we got there? Oh, yeah… One does not really walk through the house as much as one maneuvers the maze of what appears to be everything that ever entered the house… and nothing ever left. We went to the (scary) room where the three kittens were being held (hostage). One kitten, in a move that even Spiderman would be proud of, quickly jumped from one side of the room to the other and hid behind a pile of (?) things (?), never to be seen again. “Oh, he’s just crazy.” OK, you know crazy, so scratch that one off the list. Another appeared and immediately started to play and frantically run around the room. “Oh, he’s not afraid of anything. Do you have shears? He will just rip them to shreds.” Um, yeah… scratch #2 off the list. Then a very quiet, vey pretty kitten made an appearance. “He is very laid back…” We have a winner. The next hour (?) consisted of every method imaginable to cajole the kitten out of hiding and into a carrier. That should have been another red flag, but you know what they say about hindsight.
On the ride home, David and I discussed names. I have to stress how important a discussion this was. I have had cats before, but I have a bad habit of calling them different names as my mood deems fit. I can only remember the original name of one other cat, because they all became “puss” or “cat” or an expletive when they did something bad. After we suggested names and did not find one that fit, David suggested “Jorma” (pronounced Your-mah) – an homage to Jorma Kaukonen, guitarist extraordinaire, (solo, Hot Tuna, Jefferson Airplaine), Facebook friend, and all around nice, laid back guy who happened to be visiting town that same day. Hmmm… well, Jorma (human one) does have a fuzzy face… yeah, I like it. And so he was named.
We were prepared with a cat box, kitty litter, food, and a few toys for his arrival to our home. I opened the carrier and immediately put him in the cat box so he would know where it was and then hope for the best. This is where the story really starts. Step #1:
Regrets
Jorma hid all day. Not unexpected, so we let him adjust. Soon after we went to bed the meowing started. Then came the crying (mine came later), then came the howling – ALL NIGHT LONG. I think I may have had 15 minutes of uninterrupted sleep all night. WTF? If I wanted a baby I could have had one years ago. Fortunately, David experienced this before, so I didn’t panic too much (at first) at the thought of any more of these sleepless nights. Mr. Whiney Cat hid all of the next day and I thought I had a very clever strategy to avoid a repeat performance of All Night Caterwauling in E minor. As tends to happen in all matters catty, my clever strategy failed and the incessant howling started 10 minutes after I went to bed. Over and over and over until sometime around midnight I yelled “Stop” and threw a pillow in his general direction. Silence… ahhhhh.
The next morning was a work day and David and I were both thinking the same thing “What were we thinking?” We went to work and I was very distracted. I couldn’t decide what to do. I didn’t want to return him, nor did I know if that was even an option. The only other option would be to bring him to the humane society – I did not even want to think about that. When we came home from work, Scaredy Cat (you begin to see my problem with names?) was in hiding again. David and I discussed how we were feeling about it which resulted in Step #2:
Determination
OK, I have opposable thumbs so that is supposed to mean that I am smarter than a cat (but not necessarily smarter than a fifth grader or the producers at Fox). It was time to lure Agorapussia out of hiding. LOTS of patience and the right cat toys (thank you, David) eventually brought him out from under the bed. He was actually playing like a real kitten. He actually started eating and using his cat box. He actually stopped howling that night. I heard a few meows through the night and I just quietly said his name (his real name – aren’t you proud of me?) and he got quiet again. Each day after work, he would have to be cajoled out of hiding, but each day got a little easier. Then we had a moment… he let me scratch his head and purred for the first time. Let me pause… I’m getting verklempt… talk amongst yourselves… discuss… OK. Of course cats being who they are, that little moment has not been repeated in days… but I am determined. I got a couple more toys – fuzzy mice (had to buy fake ones, couldn’t catch any real ones) and a laser pointer. After the fuzzy, feathery thing with a bell on a stick (nearly pictured above), laser pointers will drive any pet bonkers. He was so busy playing with it that he was socializing before he realized it. There is still skittishness, but he walks through the house at a normal pace, he sits with us (no closer than arm’s length) when we are watching TV or working (yeah, right) on our laptops. The beast may not be tamed, but he now deigns to walk among us. Oh, and not a peep during the night. Not being the one to leave well enough alone I had to go one step further. Step #3:
Video Catnip
I noticed how Jorma (cat version) reacted to the TV. It fascinated him. He would sit and stare at the goings on and jump back if something seemed to move toward him. I couldn’t resist. Ever hear of video catnip? All of the warnings on the DVD box are true. Your cat will jump at and try to go through the TV. Not only did he sit (and jump) fascinated at the birds and squirrels throughout the entire DVD, he completely ignored all that was going on around him. We were able to go about our morning routine without him going into hiding. Then I turned it off. Since then he has been running from room to room, looking out of windows, playing with his toys, going back to the window, jumping up to see what I am writing, looking out the window, and generally acting like a kitten.
See how easy that was? Now you can adopt even the scariest of pets with my failsafe three step method.
On the ride home, David and I discussed names. I have to stress how important a discussion this was. I have had cats before, but I have a bad habit of calling them different names as my mood deems fit. I can only remember the original name of one other cat, because they all became “puss” or “cat” or an expletive when they did something bad. After we suggested names and did not find one that fit, David suggested “Jorma” (pronounced Your-mah) – an homage to Jorma Kaukonen, guitarist extraordinaire, (solo, Hot Tuna, Jefferson Airplaine), Facebook friend, and all around nice, laid back guy who happened to be visiting town that same day. Hmmm… well, Jorma (human one) does have a fuzzy face… yeah, I like it. And so he was named.
We were prepared with a cat box, kitty litter, food, and a few toys for his arrival to our home. I opened the carrier and immediately put him in the cat box so he would know where it was and then hope for the best. This is where the story really starts. Step #1:
Regrets
Jorma hid all day. Not unexpected, so we let him adjust. Soon after we went to bed the meowing started. Then came the crying (mine came later), then came the howling – ALL NIGHT LONG. I think I may have had 15 minutes of uninterrupted sleep all night. WTF? If I wanted a baby I could have had one years ago. Fortunately, David experienced this before, so I didn’t panic too much (at first) at the thought of any more of these sleepless nights. Mr. Whiney Cat hid all of the next day and I thought I had a very clever strategy to avoid a repeat performance of All Night Caterwauling in E minor. As tends to happen in all matters catty, my clever strategy failed and the incessant howling started 10 minutes after I went to bed. Over and over and over until sometime around midnight I yelled “Stop” and threw a pillow in his general direction. Silence… ahhhhh.
The next morning was a work day and David and I were both thinking the same thing “What were we thinking?” We went to work and I was very distracted. I couldn’t decide what to do. I didn’t want to return him, nor did I know if that was even an option. The only other option would be to bring him to the humane society – I did not even want to think about that. When we came home from work, Scaredy Cat (you begin to see my problem with names?) was in hiding again. David and I discussed how we were feeling about it which resulted in Step #2:
Determination
OK, I have opposable thumbs so that is supposed to mean that I am smarter than a cat (but not necessarily smarter than a fifth grader or the producers at Fox). It was time to lure Agorapussia out of hiding. LOTS of patience and the right cat toys (thank you, David) eventually brought him out from under the bed. He was actually playing like a real kitten. He actually started eating and using his cat box. He actually stopped howling that night. I heard a few meows through the night and I just quietly said his name (his real name – aren’t you proud of me?) and he got quiet again. Each day after work, he would have to be cajoled out of hiding, but each day got a little easier. Then we had a moment… he let me scratch his head and purred for the first time. Let me pause… I’m getting verklempt… talk amongst yourselves… discuss… OK. Of course cats being who they are, that little moment has not been repeated in days… but I am determined. I got a couple more toys – fuzzy mice (had to buy fake ones, couldn’t catch any real ones) and a laser pointer. After the fuzzy, feathery thing with a bell on a stick (nearly pictured above), laser pointers will drive any pet bonkers. He was so busy playing with it that he was socializing before he realized it. There is still skittishness, but he walks through the house at a normal pace, he sits with us (no closer than arm’s length) when we are watching TV or working (yeah, right) on our laptops. The beast may not be tamed, but he now deigns to walk among us. Oh, and not a peep during the night. Not being the one to leave well enough alone I had to go one step further. Step #3:
Video Catnip
I noticed how Jorma (cat version) reacted to the TV. It fascinated him. He would sit and stare at the goings on and jump back if something seemed to move toward him. I couldn’t resist. Ever hear of video catnip? All of the warnings on the DVD box are true. Your cat will jump at and try to go through the TV. Not only did he sit (and jump) fascinated at the birds and squirrels throughout the entire DVD, he completely ignored all that was going on around him. We were able to go about our morning routine without him going into hiding. Then I turned it off. Since then he has been running from room to room, looking out of windows, playing with his toys, going back to the window, jumping up to see what I am writing, looking out the window, and generally acting like a kitten.
See how easy that was? Now you can adopt even the scariest of pets with my failsafe three step method.
These are the first of what I promise will be far too many cat pictures.
MFN (Meow for now…)
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