Pride (From The Inside Out)

It was just a year ago that I attended my first Pridefest, here in Fort Lauderdale. It was a beautiful spring day with the usual mix of colorful characters and everyday people who just happen to be gay. From that day, three things stand out as memorable for me:

The Mango Margaritas
My audition and acceptance into the Fort Lauderdale Gay Men’s Chorus
The rings that David and I found and wear everyday

This year, my experience was completely different. I was behind the booth representing a worthy organization – one that I happen to work for. I wasn’t sure how well received a Cancer care organization would be among the festivities. There were many surprises and all of them were positive.

Whose life has not been touched by cancer? Friends, family, self… people did not just wander by – they stopped, they chatted, they laughed, they told their personal stories of survival and loss, they learned, the signed up to learn more or volunteer, they donated, they thanked us for what we do… it was amazing. And why shouldn’t it be? I chose to do this because this area has a very large gay community and our organization does little to nothing to draw them in. It is a community that has experience in dealing with adversity. It is a community that will go where they feel welcome and safe, and then tell others about their experience.

This type of experience is not unique to our organization, but it is new to me. I work in finance and operations, so I have no experience with the outreach process. I recently made a comment to David that I don’t feel a lot of passion for the organization – not the mission or intent, but our little group of ten people who work together trying to keep our heads above water day to day. Well, I just had a glimpse into what it is all about. I think I may get it now…

So I have learned pride from the inside out. I am proud of what our organization achieves in spite of the obstacles. I am proud of our gay community for so graciously receiving and supporting us. But as wonderful as all of that may be there is something even greater that I will take away as the best memory of this year’s Pridefest.

David, who is responsible for me even having this job, was let go by the organization nearly a year ago. As difficult as that was (and still is for me) he gets it. He not only volunteered to man the booth with me… he shined. David spoke about the organization with an understanding and passion that was humbling for me. I work there; I should know, I should care… but I have let my personal bitterness obscure the good. He drew people in and made some impressive contacts. I am so incredibly proud of him.

I did not have any Mango Margaritas this year.
My time with the Chorus was good, but it did not work out.
We still wear the rings and I have something far greater than anything I expected to find at Pridefest 2008. I saw my David, my love, through new eyes.