Before

I feel like I have written this before… probably because I have.

Once again, I am determined to take this jumble of musical instruments and electronic equipment and turn it into a proper home studio. After the “Disaster of ‘08” where my workstation collapsed from the weight of a 110 pound “portable” keyboard, I have not had the motivation to start again. Just the thought of tearing it all apart after the unenviable task of connecting old analog and new digital equipment and having it all play nice with each other… it just sits there taunting me every time I walk in the room. So I stopped walking in the room.

Recently, my music muse has been calling. I have been playing my piano more frequently, I want to get the old calluses back so I can play guitar like I used to, and I feel the desire to compose and record again. Only one way that can happen – got to put the old studio back together. So here are some images of the current disarray:


What you see:
Three keyboards, two rack-mounted synthesizers, two guitars, signal processing equipment, analog and digital multi-track recorders, mixers, two stereo systems, miles of cable organized in neat little containers, a laptop ready to synchronize it all, and a bunch of extraneous bells, whistles, and musical thingies to make any home studio owner proud. In the not-so-proud department is a buch of old software, old PC, files, a bicycle, and other junk that needs to go bye-bye.

What you don’t see:
Strings on the acoustic guitar
The mandolin hiding in the closet
A single keyboard in the upright position (you know, the way you would actually PLAY it)
Not one piece of equipment connected to another.

My muse is not happy with me. Since my writing has pretty much fallen off the radar, I have no creative outlet and I NEED a creative outlet. I hear bits of new music in my head and I have no way to keep them from dissolving into oblivion.

OK, I think I am ready to tackle this thing. It may take some time, but I am determined. Stay tuned (pun intended), with any luck I will be posting “after” pictures so you can see what it is supposed to look like…

Reflection #54

Here sits I
caring not for the day
but rather the way I came to be in this place
this quiet space in time
sublime if but for the moment
a subtle comment on a long and winding path
aftermath of turns and choices
voices that call “yay” and “nay”
some that would betray
some that would belay the boldest truth

I have grown
sometimes old, sometimes weary
yet clearly with something gained
though strained and battered
beaten and shattered
I pick up the pieces again
and again and again
to some means, to no clear end
and then I see that it leads
to a place where I reflect upon it again, and

I wonder if all the mistakes and wrong turns were given another choice
would I still be sting right here, right now, in this same quiet place…

A Moment’s Pause

It has been quite a time, lately. I feel like I have been ridden hard and put away wet… it’s a metaphor, people, don’t get all trashy. OK, get trashy, I can use the laugh. Hmmm… there’s a bit of textbook ADD.

Anyway

June is hell month in my little corner of the universe I call my job(s). It is the end of the fiscal year, it is the month following our signature event (someone has to count the money), it is budget completion time, it is financial audit prep time, and all of the usual financial reporting, board meetings, daily drama, letting two people go and hiring another, etc, etc, etc… still had to happen – on time. This has been a particularly nasty one and it did not all go well. The budget is not finished and my usually organized records are in disarray so I am unprepared for the audit.

Oy

As I see it, I have two choices. I can either continue to work seven days a week or I can realize that I am shortening my life once again (it is a pattern with my job choices) and stop. I chose the latter. Well, maybe “pause” is more accurate than “stop.” I had planned to take off my birthday off because I consider my birthday to be a National Holiday and no one should have to work – most of all, me. So if you agree with this, call in birthday on Monday and celebrate with me. Well, Monday turned into Monday and Tuesday, which turned into a half day yesterday… nearly five days off. I return for two days, and then we have a three day Holiday (the recognized National kind) weekend.

Yay

A strange thing is happening. I am feeling a sense of calm… dare I say, peace. It is the first weekend since…???... that I have not either been at work, been at a work function, worked at home, or done anything related to work. I believe those funny sounds I am hearing are my own thoughts (thoughts… thoughts… thoughts…). I know there will be too much stuff waiting for me when I return to work, but for right now, it doesn’t matter.

Double Yay (Yay Yay)

So, yes, July will probably suck, but… there is another, possibly honesttogoodnessreal vacation in early August. David and I are taking the week off to celebrate his 50th birthday (now that should certainly be a national holiday). We have no firm plans yet. If you have David’s email or are connected to him on Facebook, blogger, or better still, by phone, tell him that we need to GO AWAY. The kind of GO AWAY that means spending a little money and being away from home and all of the chores that comes with that territory. He will probably kill me for this, but what the heck, it’s worth a try.

Please?

You see, this is what happens when I allow my mind to wander, unfocused. They (whoever “they” are) say that some stress is good – it keeps the mind active and focused. I hate to prove “them” right, but I fear with every word, I am doing just that. So, on that note (lalala) gentle reader, I will leave you with this thought…

Nothing succeeds like a parakeet with no teeth.