We had our first OMG moment when we entered the house. The woman had three kittens for adoption and did it raise a red flag when I spoke to her on the phone and she called herself the “Crazy Cat Lady?” No. Was it confirmed when we got there? Oh, yeah… One does not really walk through the house as much as one maneuvers the maze of what appears to be everything that ever entered the house… and nothing ever left. We went to the (scary) room where the three kittens were being held (hostage). One kitten, in a move that even Spiderman would be proud of, quickly jumped from one side of the room to the other and hid behind a pile of (?) things (?), never to be seen again. “Oh, he’s just crazy.” OK, you know crazy, so scratch that one off the list. Another appeared and immediately started to play and frantically run around the room. “Oh, he’s not afraid of anything. Do you have shears? He will just rip them to shreds.” Um, yeah… scratch #2 off the list. Then a very quiet, vey pretty kitten made an appearance. “He is very laid back…” We have a winner. The next hour (?) consisted of every method imaginable to cajole the kitten out of hiding and into a carrier. That should have been another red flag, but you know what they say about hindsight.
On the ride home, David and I discussed names. I have to stress how important a discussion this was. I have had cats before, but I have a bad habit of calling them different names as my mood deems fit. I can only remember the original name of one other cat, because they all became “puss” or “cat” or an expletive when they did something bad. After we suggested names and did not find one that fit, David suggested “Jorma” (pronounced Your-mah) – an homage to Jorma Kaukonen, guitarist extraordinaire, (solo, Hot Tuna, Jefferson Airplaine), Facebook friend, and all around nice, laid back guy who happened to be visiting town that same day. Hmmm… well, Jorma (human one) does have a fuzzy face… yeah, I like it. And so he was named.
We were prepared with a cat box, kitty litter, food, and a few toys for his arrival to our home. I opened the carrier and immediately put him in the cat box so he would know where it was and then hope for the best. This is where the story really starts. Step #1:
Regrets
Jorma hid all day. Not unexpected, so we let him adjust. Soon after we went to bed the meowing started. Then came the crying (mine came later), then came the howling – ALL NIGHT LONG. I think I may have had 15 minutes of uninterrupted sleep all night. WTF? If I wanted a baby I could have had one years ago. Fortunately, David experienced this before, so I didn’t panic too much (at first) at the thought of any more of these sleepless nights. Mr. Whiney Cat hid all of the next day and I thought I had a very clever strategy to avoid a repeat performance of All Night Caterwauling in E minor. As tends to happen in all matters catty, my clever strategy failed and the incessant howling started 10 minutes after I went to bed. Over and over and over until sometime around midnight I yelled “Stop” and threw a pillow in his general direction. Silence… ahhhhh.
The next morning was a work day and David and I were both thinking the same thing “What were we thinking?” We went to work and I was very distracted. I couldn’t decide what to do. I didn’t want to return him, nor did I know if that was even an option. The only other option would be to bring him to the humane society – I did not even want to think about that. When we came home from work, Scaredy Cat (you begin to see my problem with names?) was in hiding again. David and I discussed how we were feeling about it which resulted in Step #2:
Determination
OK, I have opposable thumbs so that is supposed to mean that I am smarter than a cat (but not necessarily smarter than a fifth grader or the producers at Fox). It was time to lure Agorapussia out of hiding. LOTS of patience and the right cat toys (thank you, David) eventually brought him out from under the bed. He was actually playing like a real kitten. He actually started eating and using his cat box. He actually stopped howling that night. I heard a few meows through the night and I just quietly said his name (his real name – aren’t you proud of me?) and he got quiet again. Each day after work, he would have to be cajoled out of hiding, but each day got a little easier. Then we had a moment… he let me scratch his head and purred for the first time. Let me pause… I’m getting verklempt… talk amongst yourselves… discuss… OK. Of course cats being who they are, that little moment has not been repeated in days… but I am determined. I got a couple more toys – fuzzy mice (had to buy fake ones, couldn’t catch any real ones) and a laser pointer. After the fuzzy, feathery thing with a bell on a stick (nearly pictured above), laser pointers will drive any pet bonkers. He was so busy playing with it that he was socializing before he realized it. There is still skittishness, but he walks through the house at a normal pace, he sits with us (no closer than arm’s length) when we are watching TV or working (yeah, right) on our laptops. The beast may not be tamed, but he now deigns to walk among us. Oh, and not a peep during the night. Not being the one to leave well enough alone I had to go one step further. Step #3:
Video Catnip
I noticed how Jorma (cat version) reacted to the TV. It fascinated him. He would sit and stare at the goings on and jump back if something seemed to move toward him. I couldn’t resist. Ever hear of video catnip? All of the warnings on the DVD box are true. Your cat will jump at and try to go through the TV. Not only did he sit (and jump) fascinated at the birds and squirrels throughout the entire DVD, he completely ignored all that was going on around him. We were able to go about our morning routine without him going into hiding. Then I turned it off. Since then he has been running from room to room, looking out of windows, playing with his toys, going back to the window, jumping up to see what I am writing, looking out the window, and generally acting like a kitten.
See how easy that was? Now you can adopt even the scariest of pets with my failsafe three step method.
On the ride home, David and I discussed names. I have to stress how important a discussion this was. I have had cats before, but I have a bad habit of calling them different names as my mood deems fit. I can only remember the original name of one other cat, because they all became “puss” or “cat” or an expletive when they did something bad. After we suggested names and did not find one that fit, David suggested “Jorma” (pronounced Your-mah) – an homage to Jorma Kaukonen, guitarist extraordinaire, (solo, Hot Tuna, Jefferson Airplaine), Facebook friend, and all around nice, laid back guy who happened to be visiting town that same day. Hmmm… well, Jorma (human one) does have a fuzzy face… yeah, I like it. And so he was named.
We were prepared with a cat box, kitty litter, food, and a few toys for his arrival to our home. I opened the carrier and immediately put him in the cat box so he would know where it was and then hope for the best. This is where the story really starts. Step #1:
Regrets
Jorma hid all day. Not unexpected, so we let him adjust. Soon after we went to bed the meowing started. Then came the crying (mine came later), then came the howling – ALL NIGHT LONG. I think I may have had 15 minutes of uninterrupted sleep all night. WTF? If I wanted a baby I could have had one years ago. Fortunately, David experienced this before, so I didn’t panic too much (at first) at the thought of any more of these sleepless nights. Mr. Whiney Cat hid all of the next day and I thought I had a very clever strategy to avoid a repeat performance of All Night Caterwauling in E minor. As tends to happen in all matters catty, my clever strategy failed and the incessant howling started 10 minutes after I went to bed. Over and over and over until sometime around midnight I yelled “Stop” and threw a pillow in his general direction. Silence… ahhhhh.
The next morning was a work day and David and I were both thinking the same thing “What were we thinking?” We went to work and I was very distracted. I couldn’t decide what to do. I didn’t want to return him, nor did I know if that was even an option. The only other option would be to bring him to the humane society – I did not even want to think about that. When we came home from work, Scaredy Cat (you begin to see my problem with names?) was in hiding again. David and I discussed how we were feeling about it which resulted in Step #2:
Determination
OK, I have opposable thumbs so that is supposed to mean that I am smarter than a cat (but not necessarily smarter than a fifth grader or the producers at Fox). It was time to lure Agorapussia out of hiding. LOTS of patience and the right cat toys (thank you, David) eventually brought him out from under the bed. He was actually playing like a real kitten. He actually started eating and using his cat box. He actually stopped howling that night. I heard a few meows through the night and I just quietly said his name (his real name – aren’t you proud of me?) and he got quiet again. Each day after work, he would have to be cajoled out of hiding, but each day got a little easier. Then we had a moment… he let me scratch his head and purred for the first time. Let me pause… I’m getting verklempt… talk amongst yourselves… discuss… OK. Of course cats being who they are, that little moment has not been repeated in days… but I am determined. I got a couple more toys – fuzzy mice (had to buy fake ones, couldn’t catch any real ones) and a laser pointer. After the fuzzy, feathery thing with a bell on a stick (nearly pictured above), laser pointers will drive any pet bonkers. He was so busy playing with it that he was socializing before he realized it. There is still skittishness, but he walks through the house at a normal pace, he sits with us (no closer than arm’s length) when we are watching TV or working (yeah, right) on our laptops. The beast may not be tamed, but he now deigns to walk among us. Oh, and not a peep during the night. Not being the one to leave well enough alone I had to go one step further. Step #3:
Video Catnip
I noticed how Jorma (cat version) reacted to the TV. It fascinated him. He would sit and stare at the goings on and jump back if something seemed to move toward him. I couldn’t resist. Ever hear of video catnip? All of the warnings on the DVD box are true. Your cat will jump at and try to go through the TV. Not only did he sit (and jump) fascinated at the birds and squirrels throughout the entire DVD, he completely ignored all that was going on around him. We were able to go about our morning routine without him going into hiding. Then I turned it off. Since then he has been running from room to room, looking out of windows, playing with his toys, going back to the window, jumping up to see what I am writing, looking out the window, and generally acting like a kitten.
See how easy that was? Now you can adopt even the scariest of pets with my failsafe three step method.
These are the first of what I promise will be far too many cat pictures.
MFN (Meow for now…)
7 comments:
I laughed at your discriptions of the kittens and the scary room. He is such a beautiful cat, I am glad you gave him a good home.
Thanks, Steven - he is as soft as he is shiny... and I feel like he was rescued twice!
That DVD sounds pretty amazing. Also, as I mentioned once already, I love your cat.
My dear Thom, you forgot the most important rule of owning pets . . .
Remembr this one rule . . .
Dogs have owners, cats have staff. I LOVED reading this!!!
Excuse me, I have to let Wilson out . . .
Thanks, guys... we had another "moment" last night - he let me pick him up, he started purring, and he didn't even squirm. I think we are going to get along just fine...
Ha! That was the longest 3 steps, I can't believe I had to read through all of that! ;-)
Bart always thinks it's so funny that we even interact with pets, cats/dogs/etc... The idea that we're humans and we interact with these "animals" is kinda weird, when you really think about it. They love us and we love them. Is it just that they want food or is it more? I believe it's more. There's definitely a relationship there. My kitty sits on my lap and purrs on his own, he knows when I'm coming home and he's waiting for me at the door, he talks to me and genuinely seems interested... He's a Maine coon, and you know about those Maine folk. ;-) He totally loves me, actually, most cats love me... I'm a cat whisperer. ;-) ...Bart & I have had similar experiences with cats, though, he's been more traumatized by them, since his mom was a "crazy cat lady"... Though, he loves Mr. Dudleys, I'm still the kitty's favorite. :-) God, I'm a dork. Anyway... Yeah, lost my train of thought... Ummmmm?
HA! That sounds SO familiar, especially since we recently adopted our puppy from Hell, Truvy. I haven't gotten around to blogging too much about her (because I'm too busy talking about the wine that I drink because of her presence in our lives), but when/if I do have time, it'll be a doozy.
I loved reading this, it made me laugh! A LOT!
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