Sunday, November 23, 2008

Choices


Choices

How easy it is to just forget,
to slip, to slide; land in the land of regret,
open the door to those inner voices,
when all along there was a world of choices.

Things may not be easy,
things may not be grand -
but if you fall down now, boy…
where you gonna land?

Things may not be stable,
things may not be great -
but you took a chance, boy…
now you’re gonna wait?

How easy it is to slip and fall,
to stumble, fumble; press your back to the wall,
to give in to those dissenting voices,
when all along there was a world of choices.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Turning Blue



This was forwarded to me from a friend in Maine where, if you read through, you will realize is still available for lovely vacations with grand BLUE skies, beautiful BLUE lakes, and delicious BLUE ocean vistas.

The following comes courtesy of the great minds at Colby College in Waterville, Maine…


Dear Red States,

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, California, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, New York, and all of the Northeastern states. After this election, we'll be adding Colorado and New Mexico. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, especially to the people of our new country - Nuevo California. We know this means some of our friends need to move but the move is well worth it.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states; we get stem cell research, the best beaches, and the best ski resorts. We get the Statue of Liberty; you get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft; you get WorldCom. We get Stanford, Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Cal Tech, MIT and Columbia; you get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs; you get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue; you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than that of the Christian Coalition, we get a bunch of happy families and you get a bunch of under-educated single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we'll need all of our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. We do wish you success in Iraq and hope that those Weapons of Mass Destruction turn up for you, but we're not willing to spend any more of our money in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States, we will control 80 percent of the country's fresh water, 90 percent of pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 97 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at your state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, and all the Ivy League and Seven Sister schools. We also get New England, the Great Lakes and Yosemite, thank you very much.

In the Red States, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, 100 percent of tornadoes, 94 percent of hurricanes, 99 percent of Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, and Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bob Jones University, and Clemson.

Additionally, in the Red States, 38 percent actually believe Jonah was swallowed by a whale; 62 percent believe life is sacred unless it involves the death penalty or gun ownership; 44 percent claim that evolution is only a theory; 53 percent insist that Saddam Hussein was involved in 9/11; and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you have higher moral standards than those of us on the left.


Peace out,
The Blue States

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Common Sense



I hate it when I’m right.

Look… I don’t claim to be perfect – far from it. But I do possess an apparently rare quality – Common Sense. As much as I love some of my co-workers, there seems to be a serious void in the common sense arena. Here is just one example…

A couple of weeks ago, someone called our office with a wonderful idea for a donation – a 20 foot Christmas tree. I overheard the conversation and was gesturing wildly, non-verbally communicating the word “NO” in every way conceivable… to no avail. When I started asking the obvious questions like “Where, exactly, are we going to put it when our ceiling is 16 feet?,” I was told that I am a spoilsport and I say no to everything. Well, yes… like to the albatross of a copier that takes up a big chunk of a tight office and now sits, not functioning, with no technical support that came with this generous donation.

There is a theme here that nobody else seems to recognize… people don’t get rid of things that are useful. But they do dump them on a non-profit organization to get a tax break. Fortunately, I have intercepted a few of these calls and said what others seem incapable of saying; “No, thank you.”

Yesterday the tree arrived. It is, of course, an artificial tree, because live ones don’t fare well in our winter heat. The poor delivery guy wheeled in a pre-decorated tree that stood about six feet tall. Everyone said that I worried for nothing… um, people… that’s the top of the tree. Then three, four foot sections came in next and the panic started. I asked if that was it, and it turned out there was one more section. Short of cutting a hole in the roof, the only alternative is putting it outside. Thinking they were being creative, my crazy co-workers suggested we stake it to the ground. When I pointed out that our “ground” outside is all brick, the real panic ensued. Some thought it was funny – I was not amused.

As the crazy people went back and forth with crazy ideas, I talked to the delivery guy and found out how the sections went together. After trying out different possibilities, we found a way to connect the bottom section into its 4’ X 4’ base (like we have room for that) and put the top piece into it – that alone, almost went to the ceiling. All excited, my crazy co-workers were about to take all of the limbs that needed to be inserted and I said “STOP!” If you take the limbs that are supposed to go in that bottom section, you will have a wide bottom and a skinny top. So we started sorting out limbs that would go into the second section – all while the poor delivery guy is still having to hang around.

When that was done, I told them I had real work to do and to have fun putting it together. I’m the finance guy, not the interior decorator. I have a board meeting coming up where I have the unenviable task of reporting on our current financial status. I walked away and went back to work, allowing the crazy people to do some crazy decorating.

This was not how I planned to spend my work day.

I can’t wait until they figure out that when it comes down after the Holidays, we have to find a place to store it…

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Diligence

“…And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania. Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado. Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.”

45 years later…

We watched, we listened, we spoke, we voted, and we have overcome.

I understand that not everyone is celebrating. I live in a little blue island of a big red state. The passage of a state amendment making gay marriage, and even straight couple civil unions illegal, is a sobering reminder of how far we still have to go. But Tuesday night we took a giant leap.

The pendulum swings.

I don’t believe for a minute that prejudice is now a thing of the past. I think that some people voted in spite of their apprehension and fear. But when the fear of continued arrogance and belligerence is greater than taking a chance, a bold statement must be recognized.

Change.

The real work has just begun. It is time to turn this ship around. It is time to regain credibility with the rest of the world. It is time to prove that the apprehension and fear of the unknown was, indeed, unfounded.

Yes we can.

It seems that suddenly, there is hope and possibility, where before there was only time to wait it all out. The time is at hand and diligence is more important than ever.

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

I hope and pray that we seize this opportunity we have been given and take it to the next level.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Stop The Madness!


Arizona has the right idea.

Well, make that two ideas… one being that McCain is losing ground in his own state, the other being NO DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME!!!

Like I don’t have enough trouble sleeping as it is…

Every year we get to “spring ahead” to throwing off our internal clocks. Then we wait six months for that extra hour of sleep. Except now we have to wait longer because some damn fools decided to extend the stupidity.

This is how I see it… you wake up in the morning and it is approaching daylight (unless you live in the north woods and it is daylight at 4am), then you go about your day, and in the evening it gets dark, you get tired, and you go to bed. And the problem is???

I have heard all of the economic, antiquated, obscure, and otherwise stupid arguments for continuing this stupidity. I say “Basta!” (enough), let us join our brothers and sisters in Arizona and just say no to Daylight Savings Time (we can also advise them on how to vote next Tuesday). I say next spring, don’t do it - don’t move your clocks ahead. Show up at work late… or early, or whatever it is… you see how confusing this all is!

Thank you and get out there and vote…


Disclaimer:
This is a rant and contains no scientific studies, contains no empirical data, and really has no basis in fact whatsoever. This message has been written by and approved by me.