Interconnectedness

Change is the only constant. Knowing this does not equal controlling it.

Control is an illusion of ego.

Ego always seems to try and sabotage our best intentions. It is completely human.

Being fully human involves understanding how fallible we are.

Appreciating fallibility is one path to happiness.

Happiness is not an illusion. It is a state that I believe is intended for us.

However much we fight what is intended for us, our path will go where it needs to go. We can recognize this only through faith.

Faith is not housed in a building or a gathering of people – although it can be – faith is in the heart.

A closed heart is tantamount to failure in all relationships.

Relationships are delicate, fragile things, made strong by an open heart, faith, appreciation of your own and other’s paths, embracing happiness, accepting fallibility, striving to be more fully human, release of ego, surrendering control, and riding the flow of change.

Sheldon Syndrome

I have a problem. I will, and do, talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime. I’m just a friendly, outgoing kind of guy. Most of the time this is not a problem, but sometimes…

Por ejemplo:

Poor Judgment –
At a Christmas street fair in the gayborhood, I saw a very cheerful gentleman, festively dressed and sporting very large Christmas ornaments. So what did I say? “Hey, nice balls!” (Christmas balls, of course). This resulted in a very uncomfortable conversation where the man of questionable sanity and poor dental hygiene didn’t know the rules of personal space and started groping David and our friend Tim. While our friend Tom and I found this thoroughly amusing, the others (aforementioned gropees), did not. I later learned from Patrick that this guy is a known town nut job. Oops… my bad…

Sheldon Syndrome –
I don’t know how this one happens. I will be in a store looking at tech equipment and a conversation will begin that results in me acting like I work in tech support. This happened not once, but twice (at least) yesterday at two different stores. The first incident was at Target where I was looking at surround sound systems (only because a friend told me they found a great bargain – I’m not a fan of Target). It went like this:

Shopper: “Is that a good system?”
Me: “It’s OK, but I would rather have one with wireless rear speakers.”
S: “They make those?”
M: “Oh yes, but they cost a bit more”
S: “Wow… my dad is really hard of hearing and I would like to get surround sound for him so that the TV doesn’t have to be so loud.”
M: Well, that might actually make things louder. I think wireless headphones would be a better solution…”

And so began a discussion on the finer points of wireless technology. During this conversation, I saw David coming down the aisle, and recognizing what was happening, do a 180 and walk away. When I caught up with him later, he said “You really are a magnet for them, aren’t you…” Um… uh-huh.

The second incident was at Best Buy (now there’s my kind of store) where I was purchasing an iphone (stop smirking Phil, I will explain overcoming my i aversion anon…). In retrospect, I know I brought this one on myself. I could overhear the conversation of the couple who were trying to decide between a Blackberry something-or-other and an iphone. I held up the phone, faced it towards them and proudly showing my superior skills at research, said “IPhone!” This resulted in husband asking me a barrage of questions while wife (and salesperson) were getting increasingly annoyed. Oops… my bad again.

All I can say is that Sheldon (for those of you who are familiar with the TV series “Big Bang Theory”) would completely understand and be thoroughly agree with me.

So there.

Connected

I am coming to the end of 12 days off from work – the longest stretch I have enjoyed since I started my current job just over two years ago. This is not an adventure or getaway… just a bit of stay-at-home domestic bliss. Unfortunately, David has only had Christmas Day, New Year’s day, and Sundays off – that sucks… we have always had this time off together.

I feel the need to encapsulate things - to take a chunk of time and see it as a defining period, to try and give some meaning to the day to day, to view events as milestones along my way… Hell, if I didn’t, I would probably never write. I know others do this as well, but I try and draw the line between blah, blah, and a bit of substance. Far more goes on in my head than ever makes it to print – and trust me, that is a good thing (there is a lot of blah, blah in there).

So what has defined this time off? It seems to be a time of connecting and reconnecting. This is possible, in large part, to the fact that I have actually had the time to do it. Work consumes much of my time and most of my energy. But in an otherwise uneventful week and a half, I have reconnected with no less than 20 people. Whether in person, via phone, email, or web connections, it has been a very rewarding experience. It feels as good as the energy that existed on that OTHER social networking site when it still functioned.

How long this continues is up to me. I know that when it seems there is no time, I need to take the time. I think someone wrote something in a recent blog about cultivating friendships… oh right, that was me. Time to make it happen. I should follow the example of one person who is very special to me… we were connected on the aforementioned OTHER social networking site, and when THE GREAT EXODUS began, we exchanged email addresses and phone numbers and promised each other to stay in touch. When we reconnected this week through the internet, she picked up the phone and called the number that she has saved since we exchanged them. It was not only a pleasant surprised, the conversation affirmed that she is just as brilliant and beautiful as I always knew. Thank you, Haley.

Just one bit of irony… the attempted connection that started all of this (duly documented, two blogs ago) was my father reaching out to me in a way that was very surprising and more than a little curious. It is now one week later and my reply to him has gone unanswered. Oh well, c’est la vie… maybe there is still a chance, but it is part of a pattern that I have seen since I was a child.

But… To all of you who responded to my hope of reconnecting… thank you!

AND… A very big thank you to those of you who have remained connected.

With that, I feel like 2009 is starting on a positive note.