Tell Me Your Deepest Thoughts in 25 Characters or Less

There is really no excuse for this great cessation of writing. All of my friends who met on Y360 know how prolific we were and how it suddenly stopped when they pulled the plug. There are some exceptions, but we don’t write they way we used to just a few years ago.

We regrouped on Facebook, happy to come together again… but we didn’t write. No poignant stories of friends and family, no poetry, no classic rants, no travel adventures, no humorous stories… just status updates about the most mundane aspects of day to day living. It’s not because Facebook doesn’t provide vehicles for writing. Networked Blogs will link and post to Facebook. The Notes section allows you to write, include pictures, and allow for comments, just like 360. But still, there is very little of that.

We all have reasons for not writing anymore but have all our lives really changed all that much in the past few years? Perhaps… but I suspect another reason. Y360 was centered on the blog. It was a writer’s forum that grew to allow picture galleries, status updates, and other things that would look familiar to the casual Facebook user... but it was always about the writing. Facebook, on the other hand, is not. It is becoming more of a business network tool than a place for meaningful social discourse. It encourages sound bites rather than stories, mundane rather than meaningful. Tell me your deepest thoughts in 25 characters or less but remember, your boss is watching. So are your relatives, coworkers, business contacts, prospective employers… and the people of Facebook.

I used to write frequently before 360. My writing exploded when I gathered friends there who were (and are) likeminded. I can still write and I can post to Facebook… but it has to be guarded, edited. I cannot do that.

Any suggestions? Remember before you answer, the eyes of the world are watching.

C is for Curmudgeon – Part II

The process started early, more than a few years ago... I think it is time to stop fighting the growing crankiness within and embrace my inner curmudgeon. I can imagine developing a classic sneer and sitting by the window yelling at kids, “Go where ya live!” Some among you think I already do this (shut up, Patrick). I assure you I am not there yet…

Until then, I feel the need to share (unload, gripe) some things that grind my ass to the bone, and at my current weight, getting to the bone takes some doing. Random thoughts in no particular order:


If you have to say “long story short,” probably you have said too much already.

When did the word “invite” become a noun?

For most “customer service” call centers, anywhere in the world, you can make the call, then walk, drive, or fly there, pick up the phone and talk to yourself. Chances are you know more anyway.

I truly believe that most people in South Florida have fried their brains in the sun. It is the only thing that could account for the way they drive, walk out in front of moving cars, park in a way that blocks your car, and otherwise behave poorly in public - blocking grocery store aisles for inane conversation, unaware of the long line behind them as they tell their life story at the pharmacy, no volume control or any concept of an “indoor voice,” etc., etc., etc.

I am old enough to remember when smoking was permitted everywhere. I believe it is human nature to switch addictions rather than eliminate them altogether. Cell phones are the new cigarettes. Get up, have coffee, enjoy that first smooth call of the day. Get in your car, start the engine, make that call (see poor driving reference above). Grab the grocery cart, make a call (ditto). Have a drink, dial a friend. Of course, you can always double your pleasure – grab a cigarette, grab your phone. Let’s not forget texting – the lite cigarettes of the cell phone world….

I like it around your neck like a feedbag.

I am really tired of hearing about the “Sanctity of Marriage,” and the ridiculous notions of what are considered threats to it. If you want to preserve your sanctimonious notion, then why aren’t you working to make divorce illegal? Then, one man and one woman, you are stuck with each other for life, ‘till death do you part – you know, that vow you took...

What exactly is “a whole nother?” Yes, I know it’s a thing.

Best quote I’ve heard recently – “I think it’s an unbelievably tight race for hideous today.” – Michael Kors

Second best quote – “If I hadn’t told Stumpy to clean out the wood chipper by hand we’d still be calling him Uncle Ed.” – Sheldon’s mother from Big Bang Theory

…If you think any of this is negative, you are probably a Pollyanna. Ahhh… that felt good. Where’s my cell phone?

Community

“I personally think that each person has gifts to offer community. I gravitate to communities where people can bring themselves, their talents, their rich life experiences to community without being branded as "conceited," "remedial," or "outcast." What's one gift that you enjoy giving to community? What intangible gift did someone give to you that changed your life?”

I enjoy it when friends on Facebook ask interesting questions... but this is one question (actually two) that gave me pause. I don’t think that the soundbite nature of FB would allow for a proper answer. I know that I could probably come up with a few clever words that world fit in the little comment box, but this hit home in a way that a few words would not do justice. It touches upon something that has troubled me since so much changed nearly five years ago.

Sharon, who asked the question, was part of one community that was important to my life during a period when many communities formed and I had the great joy of finding a sense of belonging... and acceptance. It was as if someone was throwing pebbles into a pond and several circles formed. Each was expanding and grew to the point of overlapping. While these communities were composed of different people and for different reasons, there were common threads. We were more than individuals coming together; we were different people but like-minded in our pursuit and desire to seek something greater. There was great respect and even love in what we were able to share. This was multiplied by the sheer number of people I connected with in a short period of time. I doubt this will ever occur again, to this degree... it had its time and it served its purpose. Still... there remains an emptiness where there was once an abundance of fulfillment.

The pebbles sank, the ripples dispersed, and nothing since has taken its place. This phenomenon occurred when I needed it most. Almost as soon as the need changed, the communities faded and I moved on. Sadly, I do not feel much a part of anything these days. It seems that this is a time to sit back and reflect on what has been and what needs to be. The gifts from this time are the great lessons I learned from each individual and each community. I carry them with me and incorporate them into my daily life. You are all still with me when I reach out to others.

So, to answer your question Sharon, there are several gifts that I enjoy bringing to community. All are a part of what of what is unique to me, but not necessarily unique in itself... my sense of humor, the joy of listening in silence, providing half of what can become a connection, and most important of all, my heart. The latter comes with great risk, but has proven, again and again, to bring the greatest reward. Those very same intangible, yet palpable gifts from others are the ones that have changed my life.

You CAN go home again…

It was interesting to read David’s blog and get his perspective on visiting Maine during our visit last week. It was a trip I knew I would make at some point; finally the timing felt right. Initially, it was an idea about how to celebrate my birthday this year. Then when the governor signed legislation that would include the possibility of marriage into the mix, we started making plans. Unfortunately the voters overturned the legislation… fortunately, we took the trip anyway.

What can I say about a place where my combined vacationing and setting up residence and business spanned 25 years? It is the closest I have to calling any place home. For those who know me from Y360 days and followed my adventures at the end of time there, you know the mixed feelings I had. By the time I left, I truly believed that the island was as ready for me to leave as I was to leave it. The turbulent experience of my last years there certainly colored my perspective and it really felt like it was time to go. I had sold my business, I had kicked out my sociopath of a partner, I had a temporary place to live, I could not find a job… there was little to hold me there. Once I met David, the rest is, as they say, history.

So what would be my experience going back four years later? I was not sure what to expect. There were too many places to go, too many people to see… it was becoming more of a reunion tour than a vacation. I had to approach it like a vacation and let the fates do what they would. The fates were kind. Blissfully moderate weather, encountering a few good friends (missing a whole lot more) visiting favorite places (missing out on many others), and a general reminder of why I lived there.

Like David’s observation, no matter where you start out, you find yourself surrounded by natural beauty and get drawn in to the sights, sounds, smells, and sensations of nature. This place was, and remains sacred ground for me. The reminders of why I left paled into insignificance against the backdrop of mountains and ocean, the smell of salt air and pine, the quiet that allows solitude to nourish the spirit. All of this and more graced us on our time there. But the best part was just that – us. For the first time, I was able to share the experience of the place I call home.

It seems you can go home again.

A Good Friday to you

Good Friday – April 14, 2006

“as a very shy and quiet child, I spent much of my time alone. There was something different about the time spent alone on Good Friday. It is where I discovered solitude. I learned reflection, without knowing it for what it was. These are not things that can be taught. It was a very early whisper of a call that I was not to realize until much later in life.

Today, I find my reflection and understanding of solitude to be different, but different only in its maturity. The reflective child remains... I doubt that will ever change. And I hope that somewhere, another child is touched by Good Friday, and feels a stirring within.”


Good Friday – April 6, 2007

I am conflicted. A year ago, I wrote, with conviction, about what Good Friday meant to me. Today, I am less clear about this, and my ever evolving spirituality. What remains unchanged is an understanding of reflection, solitude, and the need to remain connected to something greater. What has changed is how I now question some of my motivation and the events surrounding a spiritual awakening. Still… I know the power of a true spiritual connection and I keep the lines open, but there is a great silence. I also know that just because there is silence, it doesn’t mean that no one (or no One) is listening.


Good Friday – 2008, 2009… silence


Today – April 2, 2010

A very Good Friday to you. Whatever your belief, faith, philosophy, or conviction, I wish you a good day.

I am not writing to grieve for loss or to bemoan how life’s changes have led me far from a path that was very rich and rewarding. I am those changes. I am accountable. I am responsible.

Of this I am very glad, or dare I say, blessed… in spite of the changes and questioning of faith, I still observe Good Friday in my heart. I still set the day aside for solitude and reflection. The only difference this year from the previous two is that I am taking the time to write about it – something that has been very difficult and elusive of late.

I count my blessings in ways that, at one time, I never would have imagined possible. I grieve for losses that still surprise me. But, as always, there is balance. At times the balance is hard to see, but it is there nonetheless. I try to remember this every day. We may have many or few “things” but without hope, we have nothing.

My words are simple; my writing is pedestrian from lack of even attempting to put word to print. But that is not what is important to me today.

I think it best to allow silence to enter my day and just listen, without expectation, for what lives within.

Silent Scream

Social networking, business, family and friends are starting to blur. For several years, I have written freely about anything that is on my mind. But now there are too many eyes… eyes that would not understand or understand too well. Life in the virtual world has turned my house to glass and has left me with little to say – or little that I am willing to say.

In the words of Harlan Ellison, “I have no mouth and I must scream.”