Sheldon Syndrome

I have a problem. I will, and do, talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime. I’m just a friendly, outgoing kind of guy. Most of the time this is not a problem, but sometimes…

Por ejemplo:

Poor Judgment –
At a Christmas street fair in the gayborhood, I saw a very cheerful gentleman, festively dressed and sporting very large Christmas ornaments. So what did I say? “Hey, nice balls!” (Christmas balls, of course). This resulted in a very uncomfortable conversation where the man of questionable sanity and poor dental hygiene didn’t know the rules of personal space and started groping David and our friend Tim. While our friend Tom and I found this thoroughly amusing, the others (aforementioned gropees), did not. I later learned from Patrick that this guy is a known town nut job. Oops… my bad…

Sheldon Syndrome –
I don’t know how this one happens. I will be in a store looking at tech equipment and a conversation will begin that results in me acting like I work in tech support. This happened not once, but twice (at least) yesterday at two different stores. The first incident was at Target where I was looking at surround sound systems (only because a friend told me they found a great bargain – I’m not a fan of Target). It went like this:

Shopper: “Is that a good system?”
Me: “It’s OK, but I would rather have one with wireless rear speakers.”
S: “They make those?”
M: “Oh yes, but they cost a bit more”
S: “Wow… my dad is really hard of hearing and I would like to get surround sound for him so that the TV doesn’t have to be so loud.”
M: Well, that might actually make things louder. I think wireless headphones would be a better solution…”

And so began a discussion on the finer points of wireless technology. During this conversation, I saw David coming down the aisle, and recognizing what was happening, do a 180 and walk away. When I caught up with him later, he said “You really are a magnet for them, aren’t you…” Um… uh-huh.

The second incident was at Best Buy (now there’s my kind of store) where I was purchasing an iphone (stop smirking Phil, I will explain overcoming my i aversion anon…). In retrospect, I know I brought this one on myself. I could overhear the conversation of the couple who were trying to decide between a Blackberry something-or-other and an iphone. I held up the phone, faced it towards them and proudly showing my superior skills at research, said “IPhone!” This resulted in husband asking me a barrage of questions while wife (and salesperson) were getting increasingly annoyed. Oops… my bad again.

All I can say is that Sheldon (for those of you who are familiar with the TV series “Big Bang Theory”) would completely understand and be thoroughly agree with me.

So there.